The first day of school brings excitement, fresh routines—and for many families, a few nervous tears. Whether it’s your child’s very first school experience or just a new grade level, separation anxiety is completely normal for both kids and parents.
It’s natural to feel a little apprehensive when parting ways at drop-off, but with a few thoughtful strategies, you can help your child feel more confident—and ease your own worries too.
Below are practical tips to help you both navigate the first day of school with calm, connection, and a lot more confidence.
What Is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is the stress or fear that can arise when children are separated from their primary caregiver. It’s most common in toddlers and preschoolers, but can also affect older children—especially when starting a new school, moving to a new classroom, or returning after a long summer break.
Signs might include:
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Tears or clinginess at drop-off
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Complaints of stomachaches or headaches
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Trouble sleeping before the big day
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Hesitance to get ready or enter the classroom
The good news? Most children adjust quickly once routines are established and new environments become familiar.
Tips to Help Your Child With Separation Anxiety
1. Practice Short Separations
In the days leading up to school, leave your child with a trusted caregiver or at a short activity to help build confidence in being apart—and in knowing you’ll come back.
2. Talk About What to Expect
Use storybooks, role play, or simple conversations to walk through what the day will look like. Focus on the positives—fun activities, making new friends, and seeing their teacher.
3. Create a Goodbye Ritual
Whether it’s a hug-high five combo, a special phrase, or a kiss in their pocket, a consistent goodbye routine helps your child feel secure and know what to expect.
4. Send a Comfort Object
Let your child bring a small item from home—a soft keychain, photo, or note in their lunchbox—to remind them they’re loved and not alone.
5. Keep Goodbyes Brief and Confident
Even if your child is upset, try to stay calm and positive. Long, drawn-out goodbyes can make it harder for them to transition.
Tips for Parents Managing Their Own Anxiety
You’re not alone if you feel emotional at drop-off. Whether it’s your first baby heading to school or your fifth, it’s still a big moment.
Try these strategies:
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Acknowledge your feelings—it’s okay to feel a little sad or worried.
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Plan a distraction after drop-off (coffee with a friend, a walk, or work).
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Focus on the growth your child is experiencing—this is a big step for them!
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Trust the teachers and staff—they’re experts at helping kids adjust.
Bonus Tip: Create a Morning Routine They Can Count On
Consistency is key for reducing anxiety. A predictable routine that includes breakfast, a fun playlist, and a cheerful send-off helps your child feel safe and in control.
You can also tuck a simple affirmation or love note into their lunchbox. (Need ideas? Check out our blog on Lunchbox Love Notes & Affirmations!)
You're Both Doing Great!
Separation anxiety is a normal part of growth, and with patience, empathy, and a few proactive steps, both you and your child will feel more at ease in no time. Remember: every day gets a little easier, and soon those first-day jitters will be a distant memory.
Here’s to a confident, calm, and connected start to the school year—for you and your child!
